February 8, 2047
GALVESTON–Texas-based Seastream Living Environments Inc. announced Monday the nationwide availability of its line of traditional and double-wide Whailers: portable, sea-worthy trailer homes built on specially-engineered whale chassis and outfitted with all the features and conveniences of conventional trailers. “We are outstandingly proud of our Whailers,” exclaims Seastream CEO Brad de Brad. “A triumph of engineering! We’re using Nature’s solutions to solve Human problems. A real triumph of harmony and elegance over brute-force design.”
The Whailers, initially available in two models–a spacious Gray and a sporty Orca–are custom grown in the company’s Galveston production facility and feature a living room, galley kitchen, master suite with master bath, guest room, wall-to-wall carpeting, and natural-grain vidoleum paneling throughout. “Even though the product is revolutionary in so many ways,” notes Brad. “We were very careful not to neglect any of the creature comforts of a conventional trailer home.”
Designed to endure the unpredictable and destructive weather affecting regions in which trailer homes and trailer parks are popular, Whailers are capable of swimming in both fresh and salt waters and weather rough seas through a series of dives, each lasting between 20 and 45 minutes. “The Whailers are really designed for the parks here along the Gulf Coast, and in the Florida panhandle, where hurricanes and torrential flooding are common,” explains Brad. “As long as you’re parked near water, though, no weather is going to destroy your Whailer. A tornado coming? Just dive into a nearby lake or river and wait it out.”
Additional features include a low-maintenance, all-temperature, natural-color, natural-texture hide requiring only “bi-weekly wetting with an ordinary garden hose” while “ground-parked” or on the included towable, flatbed trailer; two responsive, blinking eyes; a screened-in porch on baleen models; all-natural insulation; and soothing, ambient whale call “just a tickle away.”
Residents in prototype Whailers placed in parks throughout southern Texas over the past year report overall satisfaction with the Whailers: “Safe as houses! That’s all I can say,” recalls one Galveston-area beta resident. “Hurricanes Willard018, Barbara_Big, and HokeyPokemon came through last week. I think I slept through at least two of them.”
Among the few bugs reported were occasionally dangerous, involuntary “tail-flail” during mopping of the bathroom and kitchen, slightly stale air during some prolonged fresh-water dives, and faulty microwave ovens. Seastream reports that all three bugs have been addressed in the production models.
Seastream Gray and Orca Whailers are now available through your local RV and trailer-home dealer. A Humpback model, including a spacious sleeping loft, is scheduled for dealer delivery in the fall.