• Email subscribers can expect to receive a new story every once in a while delivered, piping hot, to their inboxes.
• If you are so inclined, you can always unsubscribe.
• We won't share your email address with anyone. And, let me tell you, the futurefeedforward demographic is red hot! Those stock picking newsletters and bestiality porn purveyors are just bidding like mad for our subscriber list, but we just won't give them the time of day.
• Well, if we get sued and get a subpoena or a warrant something, then we might have to share your email address with somebody, but we won't like it one bit.

Subscription Terms

1. The Subscriber agrees to read carefully all communications from futurefeedforward (the "Company"), to follow all instructions out to several decimal points, and not to wonder why.

2. The Company provides this email subscription service on an AS IS basis, and makes ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESSED, IMPLIED, INDUCED, DEDUCED OR WARMLY OMITTED. THE COMPANY MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS AS TO THE FITNESS, MERCHANTABILITY OR IRONY OF ANY COMMUNICATIONS DISSEMINATED BY MEANS OF ITS EMAIL DISTRIBUTION SERVICE.

3. Email communications sent by the Company are provided solely at its discretion. The Subscriber does not hereby secure any right or privilege to communicate with the Company or with any other party, living or dead.

4. This is not a drill.

5. The Subscriber agrees that he or she has absolutely no rights of any kind, whether customary, legal, statutory, or constitutional. In exchange for valuable consideration, including the subscription email service provided by the Company (the "Service"), the Subscriber agrees and consents, wholly and without condition, to renounce all of his or her Human Rights as well as any residual rights assigned to Subscriber as a member of the Animal Kingdom.

6. If you feel dizzy, place your head between your knees and wait for a message from the Company.