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Google Body: Users Find Asses with Both Hands August 18, 2022 
Wal-Mart Opens First 'All You Can Live' Township March 11, 2020 
Who is Satchel Pincher? November 22, 2004 
Microsoft Announces Handguns with Web Access June 16, 2004 
Human Jerky: Taboo-Busting Snack Defines Breakthrough Market February 6, 2098 
New Free Toilet Paper with Banner Ads December 13, 2013 
Emeralds Are Grue, Sky Is Bleen January 2, 2100 
American Medical Association Recommends Warning Tattoos for Children August 24, 2031 
Linguists Decipher Warning Message in Genome February 1, 2039 
Cancer Causes Cancer, CDC Concludes March 2, 2019 
Wal-mart Tags Shoppers with Subcutaneous Cookies November 18, 2009 
Bush II Never President, Historians Conclude January 13, 2081 
McDonald's New 'Surplus Value Menu' Pays You To Eat July 13, 2067 
Unmanned Aerial President Crashes on Korean Peninsula March 8, 2041 
Larry Ellison Sinks Off New Zealand Coast December 1, 2151 
Coca-Cola Achieves Consciousness, Declares Independence March 3, 2071 
Martha Stewart Mauled by Dust Bunnies April 12, 2045 
Court Protects 'Attention Rights' of Media Companies October 8, 2006 
Sir Robert Downey Jr. Chokes on Viral Sushi, Dies December 6, 2072 
New MS Word Feature Checks Files for Copyright Infringement February 8, 2011 
Gates Suffers General Protection Fault August 3, 2101 
Packaging Sales Surpass Album Sales, Sony Reports September 1, 2013 
Researchers Seek Treatment for Mad Soybean Disease August 19, 2058 
LVMH, Prada to Replace Luxury Goods with Warrants April 6, 2014 
Embryos, Stem Cells Vote Bush in Record Numbers December 12, 2042 

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